The Accident
by S Darkness
Summary: A God Awful story that i had to write and you have to read. PG13 for launguage


Recently, Snape, Albus, Minreva, and some other teachers have decided to take over my Creative side of the brain.  
  
Snape: It's hardly creative.  
  
Me: Shut up.  
  
Anyway, they have made me write this awful fic that I hope you enjoy.  
  
I own none of the characters, J.k does.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Accident  
  
One fine day, Snape was teaching a potions class, when Neville Longbottom, accidentally dropped a flask of ground up dragon hide into his potion. There was a loud explosion, Which sent Snape flying across the room, into another potion, which belonged to Harry Potter.  
  
"Oh Neville. What have you done this time!" Cried Hermione, "When Snape gets up you'll be dead for sure."  
  
"That is if he gets up." Ron added, "He hit the cauldron pretty hard."  
  
"Yeah, and what will he say about the mess, he'll surely blame it on us." Harry put in.  
  
Neville was now shaking from head to toe and to make matters worse; Draco Malfoy had noticed what had happened. "Well well Potter. What did you lot do. I bet Snape'll have you expelled when he wakes, or at the very least...  
  
A loud groan interrupted him. "Snapes waking up, Snapes waking up. Now I'm done for." Neville squeaked.  
  
Snape groaned again then tried to sit up. He got slowly to his feet, tottered around slightly, then stumbled, walking straight into a wall.  
  
"Oh my god. Professor, are you all right?" Hermione gasped. Snape responded by collapsing into a heap on the floor. Everyone rushed over to him and at that moment, the teachers came in. Snape was carted off to the hospital wing and everyone else was sent to their common rooms, after Neville was given a detention.  
  
Later on, Snape woke up. Madam Pomphrey was by his bed. He looked up and started swaying, his mouth trying to find words that would describe how he was feeling. "Professor Snape, Sir, I have been told to notify you that you had quite a hit. You should lie down for I am not entirely sure that you have all your senses back yet."  
  
"Do you know that I have always thought that you were god damn sexy?"  
  
Madam Pomphrey looked taken aback by this. "Er no I haven't, but thank you. I think.  
  
"I also have also wanted to ask if you are free to meet me in the classroom at six for a surprise?"  
  
"Professor, I really think that you should...."  
  
"Shut up ya old windbag. Can't you see I'm pissing here?" And with that Snape clumsily walked out the door.  
  
Dumbledore was just outside. "Severus, aren't you supposed to be resting?"  
  
"I'm fine. Just a bit dizzy."  
  
"You should be, after being blown into a pile of cauldrons and then going headfirst into a wall."  
  
"Did I tell you I'm gay?"  
  
"No I can't say you have. You sure your OK?"  
  
"I'm a pig in a bath Albus and so are you. You're way too fat and slimy too."  
  
"I think you should go back inside."  
  
"No. I could go to your rooms though and show you the proper way to...."  
  
"I don't want to hear it. Go to your rooms and stay there until I can get help."  
  
"Fine, bastard."  
  
The next day, Snape was busy teaching potions, when a strange feeling came over him. He had a sudden urge to dance, sing and say something very naughty. He shook his head and concentrated on the Weasly twins, who looked as if they were going, to set up a trick for him to find but no matter how hard he tried the thought wouldn't go away. Suddenly he found himself jumping on the nearest desk, knocking ingredients on the floor and singing What Shall We Do With The Drunken Teacher and What A Bitch I am, while doing back flips and making very rude suggesting gestures. After finishing, he took one look at the dazed students and ran out, humiliated. The last thing he heard before locking his door was Fred saying "I never knew he had it in him."  
  
  
  
Well if you want I can write more. Just say and give some ideas on what Snape should say  
  
Snape: I don't like this fic  
  
Me: So  
  
Harry: I think it's rather good.  
  
Snape and me: What are you doing here?  
  
Harry: I've decided to stay and help you  
  
Me: No you don't, Get out of my head.  
  
Harry: Make me.  
  
Snape and me: Glare 


End file.
